Book Discussion Guidelines


Told in alternating voices through memoir and letters, We Ran Away to Sea invites discussion about marriage, ambition, compromise, and communication. How do two people honor both shared commitment and individual longing? When does courage become escape — and when does comfort become confinement? This intimate account of risk, return, and reflection offers readers an opportunity to explore the nature of partnership, regret, forgiveness, and what it means to live deliberately. Perfect for book clubs interested in memoir, relationships, and the complicated choices that shape a life.

  1. Why did Pam and Kent want to give up their comfortable lives?
  2. Are there gender differences in their interests and willingness to take risks? Pam characterizes Kent as goal-oriented and driven. She, on the other hand, observes, reflects, and writes about their experiences. Perhaps different interests and perspectives are common in marriages, and can be a source of strength as well as conflict? How do their differences drive their story?
  3. How do their perspectives on what they are doing differ?
  4. How well do Pam and Kent communicate with each other? What tactics do you observe them use, effective and not?  What can others learn from their successes and failures in communicating?
  5. What did having two voices add to the story?
  6. In what ways did their great experiment succeed? In what ways did it fail?
  7. What drove them to take off to the sea a second time? What disappointments and difficulties led them to eventually give up that life?
  8. Are there lessons here about running away versus confronting your dissatisfactions and staying put?  “We have met the enemy, and he is us?” (Pogo/Walt Kelly

General Questions (from Bookclubs.com)

  1. How, if at all, did this book relate to your own life?  Did it evoke any memories or create any connections for you?
  2. Did you highlight or bookmark any passages from the book? Did you have a favorite quote or quotes? If so, share which and why?
  3. Did you highlight or bookmark any passages from the book? Did you have a favorite quote or quotes? If so, share which and why?

Questions Relating to the Author

  1. Who is the author and what is their background or experience in relation to the book?
  2. Did the author surprise you with any revelations or discoveries in the book?
  3. How did the author portray the other people in their life in the book? What was their influence or impact on the author’s life choices or outcomes?